How Women Handle Terrible Lovers These Women Reveal How They Handle Partners Who Aren't Doing The Best Job Satisfying Their Needs In Bed

How Women Handle Terrible Lovers

These Women Reveal How They Handle Partners Who Aren't Doing The Best Job Satisfying Their Needs In Bed

Sometimes the biggest problem men and women have when it comes to all things sex, is the ability (or inability) to communicate, at least in a manner that won't offend or insult the other party.

Fortunately, because I am a woman, I can easily get sexually active women to open up and reveal some of the ways they handle the situation when the men they're sleeping with aren't exactly fulfilling their, uh, duties, so to speak.

this is about you

Before I delve into all the horrid and nasty things some men have done to women amid sexual acts and how said women reacted, keep in mind that this article is intended to help you guys realize that if you aren't perfect in bed (and let's face it, how many of us really are?), there is still hope for you to rectify the error of your ways.

And yes, I'm well aware that there are women out there whose sexual talents go no further than that of a corpse, but this isn't about the fairer sex's issues — it's about the issues they have with men.

Score of 4.3

Gina, 27, a real estate agent from Florida who admits to having bedded over 75 men in the last 9 years (with pride, I might add), admits that she's come to a point where she's blunt with men about their sexual abilities. "I know I'm great in bed because I've made men cry and beg me to ride them while I'm teasing their penises with my mouth. But there was this one guy who got on top of me, put all his freakin' weight on me and basically began acting like a dog in heat. I became so incredibly turned off that I told him to get off me and go read a Sex For Dummies manual before he returned to my bedroom. After all the men I've been with, I don't have time for PeeWee and his issues. At this point, I've been debating whether or not I should keep scorecards under my bed so that when we're done, I can rate them."

I'd like to thank the Academy

"I have only been with two men my entire life," says Maria, 31, "my high-school sweetheart and my husband. I am not sure if I have ever reached orgasm with either of them, but believe me, I can put on a performance that would give Meg Ryan a run for her money. Sometimes I get so into the faking, that even I believe I've reached orgasm. The problem is that my husband is terrible in bed and is basically done within three minutes — foreplay and all. I don't have the heart to tell him that I can't stand the fact that he bites my nipples and rubs my clitoris like he's trying to start a fire, so I guess I'm just as much to blame as he is."

Gossip and her poison

Unfortunately, there were at least 15 women whom I interviewed who made it clear that they would never say a word to their partner about how unsatisfied they were in bed, but unfortunately would give their girlfriends earfuls on the topic. "Every Sunday afternoon, I hook up with the girls and tell them about all the stupid things my husband does in bed," says Cheryl, a 46-year-old dental hygienist. "We make fun of him and have code words we use to refer to certain things. For instance, 'dribbling' refers to the fact that he slobbers all over my vagina when he licks it."

Annie, 25, went on; "I used to tell my friends all about how awesome my boyfriend was in the sack — everything from how great a kisser he was to the way he would pour lubricant all over my genitalia and bring me to orgasm... but I learned my lesson and have since kept my mouth shut because I later caught one of my 'friends' trying to [eat] him on my kitchen table."

The trainer, the list maker and the G-spot attacker

I become a personal trainer

"I will always let a man know what he does well in bed so that he can keep doing it," admits Jenny, a 30-year-old sales rep. "When he does something wrong, I stop him with my hands or tell him it makes me uncomfortable. No man has ever taken offense to anything I've ever told him. Then again, I only sleep with men whom I've discussed sex with on a regular basis. Sex is very important to me, but make no mistake; I don't sleep with just anyone. I'm very selective and I am proud to say I have never made a bad choice when it comes to lovers. Then again, I train them to my liking..."

Listing the pros and cons

"One of my friends once told me that a woman should never discuss bad sex with her partner right before, during or right after sex," reveals UCLA student Alyssa, 19. "So I opted to take note of everything I didn't like about my boyfriend's sexual behavior — like the fact that he would swear at me (he called it dirty talk), pull my hair, spank me, bite my clitoris — and read them off to him one day while we were having dinner. It was the first time I ever saw a guy cry... needless to say he wasn't able to maintain an erection after that. The worst part is I thought I'd be doing us both a favor."

Test the waters

"I like it rough, but that's not something you can tell guys off the bat or they'll think you're slutty or worse, that you'd enjoy a sexual beating," says Giovanna, 31. "So I feel a guy out first and let him put on his best show for me in the sack. Then, when I think it's safe, I bust out the tethers and tie him to the bed, face down. I tell him exactly what I like and ask if that's okay. If he starts acting like a frightened child, I untie him and dismiss him. If he becomes incredibly enthusiastic, I play with his G-spot and make him ejaculate uncontrollably. After that, there's nothing a guy won't do for me."

do you communicate?

It's obvious that you will be or have been, at one time or another, in a relationship in which you don't communicate about sex adequately. But you have to be attentive, ask questions and above all, pay attention to a woman's reaction when you do certain things like perform cunnilingus or penetrate her.

Tell her what you like, what you imagine her doing to you and encourage her to do the same. Of course, sometimes it may take a little coaxing, but if you are extremely open about sex and let her know that all her fantasies are acceptable, then with time, there won't be anything that either of you will hesitate to discuss.

Get graphic about your fantasies and try to play some of them out. If you ultimately want to maintain a healthy sex life and relationship, you have to communicate about what you like and dislike about each other's behavior in the bedroom, as well as in other areas of your relationship. Otherwise, you may find yourselves fighting over the little things, or worse, one of you may end up in the arms of another.

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