What Women Discuss When They Talk About Sex

What Women Discuss When They Talk About Sex

See How Men & Women Recount The Same Sexual Experience Completely Differently

roger's scenario

what do women talk about?

Roger: Hey David, I slept with Lisa last night man, it was great.

David: Was it good? Did she swallow?

Roger: Come on man, what do you think? First I drilled her and then she gave me the greatest licking of a lifetime. Oh man, and she was wild, I could do anything and she didn't mind.

David: Hey, when you're done with her, can I have a crack at it? I'm just kidding buddy, why don't you come over and watch the game?

lisa's scenario

Lisa: Hi Joanne, you'll never believe what Roger and I did last night. We went to a hotel and made passionate, erotic love. Oh my goodness, first he kissed me so soft and deep, like he's been dying to kiss me for ages. Then he slowly unbuttoned my blouse and licked on my nipples gently, I thought I was going to have an orgasm right then and there.

Joanne: Oh my G-d, you're so lucky. How long did the foreplay last?

Lisa: At least two hours, he really appreciated my body. He was licking and biting me everywhere. After we had intense sex, I decided to let him lay back and relax and I pleasured him. And I know you're going to freak out but well, you know, "good to the last drop"

Joanne: You didn't!!!

Lisa: I sure did, and it actually tasted sweet. I can still feel him all over me.

Joanne: Okay, we have to meet for coffee, I want all the details.

it's all relative

Why is it that two people who just shared a very intimate experience together seem to recall the entire episode so differently? Is it because men really are from Mars? No, it's because men and women pay attention to different details.

So what do women talk about when they talk about sex? How about every possible minute detail known to man? No stone is left unturned when the girls get together to gab about the beast with two backs.

If you've always wanted to know what your gal tells her friends about the day after the night before, then today is your lucky day because I'm about to let you in on a couple of secrets.

at most atmosphere

It's like they say in business; it's all about "location, location, location," and sexual scenarios are no different. She pays attention to the candles, the incense, the trance-like music — the entire setting is part of the foreplay.

Don't get me wrong, if you ended up having sex in the shopping mall bathroom, that's equally adequate. The point is, women usually pay attention to their surroundings. That's not to say they expect scented candles and a hint of jasmine in the air, it just helps if you know that our 

touch me like a man

The way the whole session starts and the foreplay that follows are about 4000 times more important than the actual act of lovemaking. In all honesty, what turns you on more: having sex, or knowing that you're going to have sex? In any case, the approach always becomes quite a topic for discussion.

If you run your fingers through her hair, lightly shove her against the wall, and start kissing her, or approach her from behind and bite her neck, that'll definitely make for a great tete a tete with her bosom buddies. And more than that, if you can make her incredibly wet just by kissing her or better yet, by maintaining control and teasing her, she will be dying to shout out what a good lover you are over a megaphone.

what did you say?

Sometimes guys happen to say some awesome things in the midst of lovemaking, without fully realizing what great discussion pieces they'll make over cappuccinos with the girls the next day. The words you utter are just as important as how well you penetrate her.

Now before you get your underwear in a knot, I'm not referring to that whole "I want you to be the mother of my children" kind of lingo. I'm talking about dirty, kinky talkers. If you whisper things like, "I want to hear you scream" or "show me how bad you want me," she'll be sure to mention that to the girls.

Keep in mind that it's not like women are keeping mental notes in the midst of your session, but when someone does or says something memorable, kinky or hideous, it's not soon forgotten. If a woman told you that you were the best kisser she's ever had the pleasure of laying her lips on, would you soon forget it? That's what I thought.

the shape, the color, the size

Yes, yes, we talk about your penis the same way you talk about our breasts. And not just the penis, but also your entire physical make up. Soft, muscular, thin, thick, long, solid, tan, pale, and hard as a rock are only a few adjectives used to describe what men look like.

When we talk about penises, we don't just discuss their size. We discuss the texture, the hair factor, the girth, length, the color, oh, and women talk about your testicles too. Just like breasts, men's "sacks" come in all shapes and sizes, and we need to keep on top of things (pun fully intended) via discussion.

Does the sack hang? You mean he doesn't trim? What do you mean there was only one? Okay, the last question doesn't really happen, but you get the general idea. The bottom line is that your whole body is up for discussion, so keep yourself in tiptop form gentlemen; it may cost you a good lover if you don't.

so how was the sex?

"It was amazing, first while he was on top of me, he would stare right into my eyes and whisper my name with every thrust. Then it was like something came over him, and he stood me up, turned me around, bent me over the couch and got me from behind. And his hands were everywhere, not to mention his tongue. We must've had sex in every position known to man that night. He was so amazing that I can still feel him all over me."

Okay, so perhaps that doesn't sum up every woman's sexperience, but it gives you an idea of how a positive sexual experience can make a woman feel inside and out. If you can make her feel the after-effects of sex the day after (I don't mean bruises and teeth marks; I'm referring to flashbacks and goose bumps at the thought of the experience), the remnants will last for a long time afterwards. Sort of like the aftershock of an earthquake.

When it comes to sex, some women will go the distance and describe every kinky, nasty thing you've done, while other women will keep their lips sealed. So don't assume that every woman calls up her friends and gives them a detailed description of every shoot and squirt you make. Some women believe that keeping their sex life to themselves makes the entire sexual experience that much more stimulating.

the dude's a dud

If you were a horrible lover, not only will she tell her friends every gory detail, she'll be using all sorts of unattractive analogies to describe the experience. For instance, "Have you ever watched two dogs getting it on? Well, let's just say that they probably had more passion happening than we did — and they probably lasted longer too."

If her sexual experience was terrible, she'll need her friendly support team to convince her that these things sometimes happen. If you're a selfish lover or leave her feeling unsatisfied and inadequate, it's likely that she won't be having sex with you again in the near future.

And as I mentioned women's senses before, if you don't smell good or worse, you taste like a combination of armpits and filth, then her senses will shut down and so will her sexual appetite. So keep yourself prim, proper and ready for poon-tang at all times.

Keep in mind that your objective is to make it a pleasant experience for the both of you, not just yourself. Otherwise, you'll eventually find yourself making love with your two hands more often than not.

about last night

As I said before, keep in mind that not every single woman finds a thrill in discussing her sexual prowess with friends. Also, some women fear that if they tell other women what a fantastic lover they have, those same women would want to get a piece of the action. I think a lot of guys know what I'm talking about from their own experiences.

Just as well, all guys don't broach the topic of their sexual experiences by scratching their crotch and mimicking the doggy style position, while specifying how often they tapped that a**. Some guys don't kiss and tell, and they are usually the ones who make the best lovers.

And while we're on the topic, I'm quite sure that it's safe to assume that some guys even discuss their sessions with as much detail and vividness as women, and to those guys, all I have to say is, "Let's meet for coffee and talk about last night."

Until next time, always use protection and discuss sex amongst yourselves.

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