Oral Sex Guide for Men to Make You Better at Just About Everything

Oral Sex Guide for Men to Make You Better at Just About Everything

Tips, Tricks and Products for Performing Mind-Blowing Oral Every Time

These days, if you want to get your partner off, it’s going to take more than a few hearty thrusts. 

Research found that only 18 percent of women ages 18 to 94 can orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Nearly 37 percent of women needed clitoral stimulation to climax, and another 36 percent said that, while they didn't need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, it enhanced the experience. The takeaway? More mouth stuff is never a bad thing. 

On that front, there seems to be a shortage when it comes to men delivering. Research published in the “Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality” found that heterosexual women are two times more likely to perform oral sex than men, even though they enjoy it less. What’s more, a survey from Cunni, an oral sex toy that never saw the light of day due to a lack of funding, found that 59 percent of men ages 21 to 45 don’t know what their partner even likes when receiving oral sex. 

While communication is usually the best way to find out someone’s interests in the bedroom, introducing the topic can be tough – only 30 percent of women feel comfortable telling their partner what they need to orgasm. 

To help, AskMen spoke with three experts on everything you could ever wish to know about oral sex.

What Is Oral Sex?

“Oral sex is oral-vaginal sex (cunnilingus), oral-penile sex (fellatio) and oral-anal sex (anilingus or rimming),” says Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, LELO Sexpert and NYU professor of Human Sexuality.

Nibbling, sucking, licking – if you’re using your mouth, lips and/or tongue to stimulate the genitals, you are practicing oral sex. If you’re doing well is a whole other story, but more on that later.

Why Is Oral Sex Important in Our Culture?

Oral sex feels great and primes the body for penetrative sex, helping women self-lubricate and men become erect. If that weren’t enough, it’s good for our bodies as well. 

“Sexual activity increases blood flow, resulting in lower blood pressure and decreased stress levels,” states Antonia Hall, psychologist and author of “The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life” and the “Sexy Little Guide” book series. “Regular blood flow to the genitals helps keep them healthy and functional.”

Many believe oral sex helps them feel more connected to their partner, and if you’re someone who takes no issue in swallowing, semen contains spermatozoa, oxytocin and serotonin, all of which can elevate moods. It also contains melatonin, commonly used to help with sleep … so it’s basically a multivitamin.

The Best Tips for Cunnilingus

Cunnilingus has a reputation of being one of the most difficult sexual acts to perform. Why? Well, it's in part due to the female orgasm's label as both elusive and complicated. But as that just sounds like an excuse to be mediocre, which is not an adjective we’d like associated with our lovemaking skills, here are some go-to tips when attempting to perform oral sex on her.

Get Comfortable Before You Start

“Adding a pillow under the hips and butt can make cunnilingus easier for the giver and more pleasurable for the receiver,” says Hall.

Be Sure to Go Slow

Despite the wonderful things you’ve heard about the clitoris, warm up the rest of the vulva first.

“Tease it, make it beg for you to touch the clit,” suggests Vrangalova. “Most clits are different from most penises, they don't like to be handled much until they get a bit aroused already.”

Hall recommends using the tip of your tongue and lips to tease the inner thighs and along the pelvic bone.

Start With the Hood

After you've warmed up the vulva, refrain from going directly for the clit. 

“Play with it over the clitoral hood instead," says Vrangalova. "For many, the clit itself is too sensitive for direct stimulation. See how your partner responds, then try for the clitoris directly.”

Hall suggests you start light with a slow increase in pressure. “Using a flat tongue, slowly lick upward along the opening of the vagina, circling the clitoral hood,” she says.

Don't Be Afraid to Experiment

Some vulva-owners like the licking motions more, some prefer sucking and others enjoy gentle biting or beard rubbing. To figure out which your partner prefers, Vrangalova recommends you experiment with different strokes and listen to your partner's reactions. When you find a rhythm that works, stay consistent and do not change it too often. 

Don't Be Afraid to Experiment

Some vulva-owners like the licking motions more, some prefer sucking and others enjoy gentle biting or beard rubbing. To figure out which your partner prefers, Vrangalova recommends you experiment with different strokes and listen to your partner's reactions. When you find a rhythm that works, stay consistent and do not change it too often. 

Beware of Beard Burn

With no substantial academic research on the topic, we asked our experts how women feel about beards during oral sex.

“Everyone is different, of course, but I'd say that a beard might be most of a negative issue when it's a stubble because it can really scratch the vulvar area in an unpleasant way for many people,” suggests Vrangalova. “In those cases, try not to rub or grind your face hard against clit or vulva. Instead, gently rub the beard against the whole genital area."

“Keep your beard clean and oiled,” adds Hall. If she hates it,  place a protective barrier between your beard and your partner's genitals while pleasuring them. Dental dams offer a good barrier and also help prevent potential STIs. 

The Best Tips for Blowjobs

Just as cunnilingus is considered one of the most difficult sexual acts, blowjobs take some serious nuance and consideration in order to consider yourself a professional. Below, you'll see a few suggestions when giving your partner a blowjob. 

Be a Tease

Treat the penis like a clitoris and do some teasing before diving in. Vrangalova recommends kissing and licking the shaft all over, including the balls. Eye contact can be hot, and enthusiasm always is. 

Switch It Up 

When the penis in your mouth, experiment with different speeds while staying consistent. This is especially important as the orgasm is near.

“The delicate frenulum area (where the head and shaft meet) is often a particularly pleasurable area to have stimulated,” says Hall.

Use Your Hands

Vrangalova says it’s important you incorporate your hands, recommending you stroke the base of his penis and play with his balls — but be gentle! For more, see our guide on testicle stimulation.

Make Your Mouth a Nice Environment

“Don't use your teeth and wrap your lips over your teeth while sucking,” says Vrangalova, suggesting you keep your mouth wet at all times. “Drink some water, spit on it or use flavored lube.” 

Do Some Exploring 

“If he’s having a good time, try briefly licking his perineum and see how he responds,” says Vrangalova. “If he likes it, it might be an invitation to incorporate some rimming or a finger in his anus ... a lot of guys like this during a blowjob.”

Click here for our full guide to blowjobs (if you’re more of an ass fan, we’ve got a guide to rimjobs, too).

The Best Toys for Oral Sex

Though not required, sex toys can enhance an already pleasurable experience. To help you find which are best for oral sex, we asked our experts.

My Secret Screaming O Vibrating Lipstick

My Secret Screaming O Vibrating Lipstick

“Adding some gentle vibration to your blowjob can feel amazing,” says Hall. To do this comfortably, she recommends you run My Secret Screaming O Vibrating Lipstick along the penis or gently tease the frenulum with the toy while licking the tip of the penis. If he’s comfortable with it, feel free to use the toy on the scrotum, perineum and anus.

LELO SONA 2

“If anal stimulation is enjoyed, you may want to add a favorite anal sex toy for additional stimulation,” suggests Hall. A great toy for beginners is LELO’s BILLY 2. It fits like a glove, has 8 different vibration settings and is easy and comfortable to insert and remove.

LELO SONA 2

LELO also has its own line of oral sex toys, a top seller being the LELO SONA 2. It uses sonic waves to create a unique sucking motion that’s deep yet gentle without making direct contact with the clitoris. Sound like magic? That’s because it is. 

LELO ORA 2

Similar to the SONA 2, LELO ORA 2 is an oral sex vibrator that mimics cunnilingus, which could offer the giver a much-needed break. The award-winning product claims to be like a tongue, but better.

Beginner’s Bondage Fantasy Kit

Beginners  Bondage Fantasy Kit

Oral sex can be better with a little bondage. No dungeon required — just some hand-cuffs and blindfolds are all you need.

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