10 Things That Could Be Ruining Your Sex Life If You Want A Great Sex Life, Don't Make These 10 Mistakes

10 Things That Could Be Ruining Your Sex Life

If You Want A Great Sex Life, Don't Make These 10 Mistakes

Sex is, in my humble opinion, the greatest thing to happen to the human race, ever. Sex can be the way you show the person you love how connected you are to them. It's the space

 you both can go to in order to explore different aspects of your relationship. Also, it feels f*cking fantastic.

But, as much as sex is pandered to us through every media outlet possible, no one is the perfect lover. If we're being honest, we all have things to work on. Do you even know how good in bed you are? If you think you're a modern-day Casanova just because you last longer than five minutes and know more than two sex positions, congrats — but there might be other things holding you back from taking your lovin' to the next level. Here are 10 slightly more subtle things that could be killing your game in the bedroom.

1. Having Bad Breath

Foreplay is one of the best parts about sex! That feeling you get when you’re able to kiss someone passionately and have your bodies transcend each other is magical...except when the magic is blocked by the taste of the chicken Caesar salad you had for lunch six hours ago. Your breath smells normal to you throughout the day because you quickly become accustomed to the smell. And even though you may not think it's ruining your charisma between the sheets, the reality is that that first whiff of your breath can set the tone for the entire encounter. If you don’t have time to brush your teeth before the deed, make sure to carry around a travel tin of mints. You’re welcome.

2. Taking Too Many Cues From Porn

Porn has been stellar for my sex life in the sense that it has given me a clear understanding of how sex doesn’t work. Like, in reality people have pubic hair, and a tiny bit of saliva is not sufficient lube for anal. So if you’re one of those people who grew up watching porn and tried to take all of your cues from the men performing on screen, please reconsider. Porn is great for giving you vague ideas of what to do in the bedroom, but by no means should it be the blueprint you use for your mojo.

3. Not Taking Enough Cues From Porn

Now, having just denounced the educational values of pornography, I will say that it gives you the opportunity to be creative. I’m not suggesting that you should go out and rent Deep Space Ass 19 to give you ideas on how to spice things up in the bedroom, but if you're always ending up in the same old sex positions again, you could consider taking some inspiration from the stars on screen. Not to mention, if you're considering doing some role-playing, crappy porn acting can be really inspiring. Variety is the spice of life, so think of porn as your occasional paprika.

4. Not Washing Your Damn Sheets

I know a lot of us (myself included) struggle with adulthood, and a lot of the times life gets away from us. You may not notice that your sheets are disgusting because you only change them once a month, but chances are your partner knows that they’re supposed to be changed every 10 to 14 days. Yikes.

5. Rushing Everything

I myself am guilty of rushing through foreplay because I want to watch the latest episode of Game of Thrones before bed, but sex should be savored. When we feel like just going through the motions, we should take a minute to reflect that we’re usually having sex with someone because we like them. (Or maybe you're just drunk and horny?) Either way, these reasons should be celebrated and savored, not hurried through.

6. Not Cultivating A Killer Slow Bedroom Jams Playlist

Because I can promise you that nothing will make you and your boo feel closer than the memory you’ll share when "Afternoon Delight" comes on mid-oral. But seriously, sex music can really take things to the next level, and you'd be a fool not to experiment with the experience. 

7. Being Afraid To Be Silly During Sex

It took me about a year into my sexual career to realize that it is OK to not be so serious about it all. At its core, logistically speaking, sex is ridiculous. You’re smashing two bodies into each other because it feels good? I can’t tell you how many times i’ve wanted to laugh at something in bed with a guy but was afraid to hurt his pride. Sex can be gross, hilarious, and weird. Learn to roll with it!

8. Getting Too Far Into Your Own Head

Say it with me: “During sex, I will let go. During sex, I will let go.” Often, the thing killing you from being a legend in the bedroom is you being trapped inside your own head. Stop worrying about whether or not you paid that cable bill on time, or what time the game is scheduled to kick off. Stop worrying if your moves are suave enough or if you should call her the next day. Sometimes, the only way to become a legend in the sack is to finally let go of the expectations you have of yourself to “perform.”

9. Always Expecting Romance

Sex can be gross, weird, and hilarious at the same time. Always expecting there to be romance in your day-to-day sexual acts is pretty unreasonable. You could love the person you’re with with every fiber of your being, but some days the spark will feel there more than others. By allowing yourself to live in the healthy space where sex is both romantic and pleasurable, you’ll be taking a lot of pressure off yourself.

10. Writing Sex Off As Purely Physical

But, on the opposite end of the spectrum, don’t become one of those guys who works solely to look like a baller without any regards to how the other person may feel. Sex is that special thing (however you want to define that) between two people and it should be treated with some level of respect. It’s cool to occasionally let the world you know what you’re doing, but don’t be a dick about it.

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