How To Tease Her Sexually

How To Tease Her Sexually

Master The Art Of Foreplay With These Helpful Teasing Tricks

There's foreplay, and then there's the foreplay before the foreplay. And while the moves and tactics you can use to get your woman

 warmed up and ready for the main event can run the gamut, there's nothing quite as hot as the art of teasing her sexually — especially when it's done right. Giving pleasure in small amounts and then withdrawing before things go too far is an artform — one that's worthwhile to spend some time mastering if you're looking to keep your sex life fun and exciting.

Think about some of the best sex you've had. Chances are that it wasn't the kind where you hit it and quit it (although power to you if it was). But the more time you can spend getting your partner in the mood, the better, longer and more intense your lovemaking session is bound to be — and that goes for both of you.

Of course, the type of self-restraint that's required to tease her sexually without going too far can be tough to cultivate. Not to mention, if you're used to going in for it immediately, you might not know how or where to start. Never fear: we've asked the experts (and a few real women) to share the best ways to tease women sexually. Here are a few surefire ways to get her hot for you before you go all the way.

A Few Teasing Don'ts

When it comes to teasing, what you don't do is just as, if not more important than the actions you take to get the job done. The end goal here should be to get your woman aroused and ready for the next phase of action — and while playfully asking her if she wants more or giving her direction can be part of that, you don't want to come off as demanding or pressuring her. Consent is key even when you're teasing, so be sure to ask if things feel good throughout — especially when you're experimenting with something new.

Teasing, by definition, is all about creating suspense by not giving it all away. "We can do this in physical and non-physical ways," says Daniel Sher, sex educator at Naughty North. "Physically, the rule number one of teasing is not to go straight for the sex organs. Rather, focus on the rest of her body. Take your time. Stroke, caress, kiss, lick and explore. Don’t be afraid to get creative by paying attention to the arch of her foot, the back of her knees, her ears and hair, or the underside of her wrists."

As Gigi Engle, feminist writer, educator and speaker explains, going in too fast too soon can actually cause the opposite effect that you're going for. "Don't just go right in for the clitoris," she says. "It can be very sensitive when it's not properly stimulated. Start by kissing and licking her inner thighs and nipples, then move down. Lick around the clitoris first like a figure eight. Get her warmed up."

How to Tease Her

Start Outside The Bedroom

Arousal isn't strictly a physical act. "Our sex drive starts in the brain, and the most powerful teasing happens long before you reach the bedroom," Sher explains. "Psychological foreplay is a real and important phenomenon: the right cologne, a candle-lit dinner, a knowing glance and a little bit of talking dirty can leave your partner intensely aroused before you’ve even started undressing."

What Real Women Say

"Never underestimate the power of a whispered dirty one liner in a public place," says Shawna, 24. "One night I was with my boyfriend at a corporate event his company threw. Honestly, it was already hot to me watching him talk business and schmooze with the higher ups — it's not a side of him I get to see regularly. But having him finish his very professional conversation, then come over to me and whisper 'I can't wait to get you home' made me want to jump on him right then and there."

Take It Slow

It's a fact that women take longer to climax. "A quick review of sexual arousal: sometimes it takes up to 20 minutes for a woman to be aroused enough to have an orgasm," explains board certified sexologist Lanae St. John. Which means the slower you go and the more time you take, the closer she'll be when you two do start having sex. "Think of it like setting a pot of water on the stove to boil," she says. "It takes some time, but you get the desired result."

Stimulate The Right Erogenous Zones

"Focus on her other erogenous zones," says health and wellness expert Caleb Backe. "If your foreplay just involves her breasts and genitals, there’s no anticipation or build up — which are crucial for a woman’s sexual pleasure." So, what areas should you be focusing on? "If you really want to get her going, pay attention to other parts of her body that are loaded with nerve endings," he says. "For example, don’t neglect her belly. Besides being extremely sensitive, the stomach muscles interact with the pelvic floor muscles and can lead to more intense orgasms. Likewise, you can’t forget about the inner thigh. If you can gently caress and kiss her inner thigh, you can have her trembling and begging for more."

Use Breath to Your Advantage

Less is more where teasing is concerned. As Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist, explains, something as simple as breathing can have a big impact. "Your breath is one of your most powerful sexual tools, and you can use it in so many ways as you play with temperature, speed, rhythm, movement and more," she says. "Gently kiss their neck and then breath warm air over the same area with a wide open mouth and slow, gentle breath. Pull back from kissing and sensually run your tongue on the inside of their upper lip while you exhale only ever-so-slightly."

What Real Women Say

"My boyfriend does this thing to my ear that's half breathing, half grazing my earlobe with his lips that's discreet enough for him to do when we're in public — and which instantly gets me wet," says Bianca, 26. "He knows what it does to me and loves to watch my reaction after I pull away, which makes the whole thing feel that much more intense."

Keep Her Guessing

As it turns out, not knowing what your next move is going to be makes the experience more pleasurable for your partner. "Research shows that dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with motivation, pleasure and reward, is higher when you’re anticipating a reward than when you actually receive it," says Dr. O'Reilly. "And when the reward is unpredictable (e.g a monkey gets a treat for pressing a button four times versus getting a treat for pushing it an unknown number of times), dopamine levels double." The takeaway? Giving your partner exactly what they want may be less pleasurable than teasing. "Building anticipation is key to pleasure, so tease her throughout the day and change it up often so that your approach is unpredictable," Dr. O'Reilly says.

Get Near The "Target," Then Shy Away

Teasing eventually needs to come to an end once it's served its purpose. As things are progressing to the point where you're both heated up and ready to take things to the final stage, sex educator Katy Zvolerin says getting near the area will build anticipation even more. "Try kissing and touching her everywhere except her nipples, clitoris or vaginal area," she explains. "Gradually work your way toward the target, veering off course at the last moment a few times. Often, this deliberate exclusion will have her begging for sex."

What Real Women Say

"I had an ex who was a master at the bait-and-switch, making me think the teasing was over only to change his course at the last second," says Michaela, 28. "Even when I would beg him to just put it in me already, he'd keep it going for just a few more minutes for good measure."

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