What Kind Of Lover Are You?
If You Were An Animal That Represents Your Skills In Bed, Which Would You Be? Find Out Here.
Whereas some men have managed to perfect the art of making love, it seems that others are still fumbling around as though they can't seem to find the right hole.
Well, today I'm going to fill you guys in on the kind of lover you may or may not be by explaining the different sorts of men that women commonly refer to.
Now while you probably think that you're the be all end all of lovers when it comes to seducing and satisfying women, chances are that the women you've bedded in your lifetime would tend to disagree and would probably compare you to a not-so-flattering animal that I myself am about to pass on to you.
Now keep in mind that you should not take offense; this is simply a blatant guide that is set to help you rectify the error of your ways. There is always room for improvement and hey, there's no time like the present, right? So join me in this lighthearted article about the kind of lover you might be.
the rabbit
The gentlemen that fall into this category are the eager ones who end up finishing before their women get an "ooh" in edgewise. The kinds of guys that get overly excited and are commonly referred to as the "three pump-chumps" or "two-minute men."
Best Asset: Chances are, this kind of guy can go a few rounds in a night.
Worst Asset: Too fast to make the session pleasurable.
Solution: Learn to be patient, make the foreplay last longer than a commercial, and appreciate her and give her an orgasm or two every now and then.
the turtle
Guys that inch their way into this category are the lazy types who think that just lying there with a hard on is enough to get a woman off. She ends up doing all the work while the turtle enjoys the ride. These guys are commonly referred to as the "selfish stoop" and the "lazy lump of lard."
Best Asset: At least women get to take control and be dominant.
Worst Asset: This particular type of man takes no initiative when it comes to lovemaking and thinks that fellatio is his right as a man.
Solution: Turn sex into a game and be active, rather than just lie there and wait for nature to take its course. And hey, cunnilingus is NOT a city in India.
Are you a teddy bear, a stallion or a unicorn?
the teddy bear
Well, although this kind of man is appreciated at times, a little overkill may make women want to poke their eyes out with rusted butter knives. The teddy bear refers to those guys who are overly emotional and too huggy kissy when it comes to making love. And although that's fine and dandy for some gals, other women would prefer a more aggressive man with a touch of love.
Best Assets: He's affectionate and playful, as well as huggable.
Worst Asset: He doesn't allow for the aggressive sexual predator in his woman to be set free. And sometimes, he lets a tear fall from his eye because he, sniff, just loves her so much.
Solution: Don't always do the same thing over and over again. Add a little variety and spice to your sex life by occasionally behaving more dominantly. Kiss her deeply, hold the roots of her hair, and use her waist to motion up and down on your member.
the stallion
Ah, the beautiful man who is all show, and boy does he know it. He is the performer, kind of like a circus act with an assistant (the woman) who remains in the shadows. The egoist who enjoys ogling himself in the mirror whilst making love. As well, this also includes the kind of guy who thinks that being the owner of a mammoth penis is cause enough to drive a woman mad.
Best Asset: He's good-looking and may actually turn out to be good in bed.
Worst Asset: He's so consumed with himself that he really has no time to consider what she's feeling.
Solution: Stop being so arrogant and don't just assume that she'll reach orgasm simply because you're so hot. Pay attention to her, explore her body, make her feel like she's on top of the world, and no, you're not the world.
the unicorn
Some claim to have seen them, some even claim to have touched them, but there's no clear evidence that they exist. These are the perfect lovers. They possess the perfect amount of passivity, aggression, passion, speed, rhythm, and feeling that would make any woman's toes curl. Some believe that this kind of man does not exist, but I beg to differ. Some men were truly born to be great lovers.
Best Asset: Hello... he's perfect.
Worst Asset: None.
Solution Every man should strive to become the greatest lover not simply with his physical ability, but he should get into himself and learn about the power of touch, taste, sound, smell, sight, and spirit.
be all you can be
Okay, so there are plenty more varieties of lovers and by no means are all women the greatest lovers when it comes to bedroom antics. But hey, I'm here to help you guys be all that you can be by improving the quality of sex in your life.
Stop focusing on the score and try to look at the scenario as a whole. Even if you're with a casual sex partner, try to make her feel like gold for the evening by appreciating her body, and treating foreplay like more than just a peck on the cheek and a finger or two fumbling inside of her.
I know that most men are eager to please their women and that's what all the ladies ultimately want, so long as you maintain open communication and a whole lot of spontaneity and creativity in your life.
Well, until next time, don't forget to protect your members and treat your next sexual encounter as though it may be your last. Make it last forever, or at least for a good part of the evening.
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